The Places We Send Our Kids to Play

The online gaming platform Roblox isn’t new—it launched in 2006—but it exploded between 2016 and 2020, which is right about the time one of our kids, age 10, started begging for an account.

In 2019, there wasn’t a lot of conversation about Roblox yet. The basic premise of most Roblox games is pretty harmless—you pick a character, dress them up, and generally just hang out with other players. Players can make their own games and play with others. Innocent enough, right?

But my husband, Tyler, and I did our research and ultimately decided it wasn’t a fit for our family. Roblox has since added parental controls, but it’s still a sketchy place for kids. And because it’s wildly popular—approximately 151.5 million daily active users as of now; we need to talk about it.

Whether you’ve chosen to keep your home game-free or you’re setting healthy, age-appropriate limits, every parent will benefit from knowing what went into this decision in our home.

The average Roblox user is between 9 and 16. Age verification is tricky—many kids sign up with a fake birthdate, and the minimum age is actually only 5. Roblox’s newer parental controls do adjust access by age, but only if the age was entered correctly in the first place. They now require facial scanning to access the chat feature, which is a step up—but it raises its own question: how do we feel about our child’s face being uploaded to their platform? (Even though they say they remove it.)

The National Center on Sexual Exploitation has placed Roblox on their Dirty Dozen list multiple times — a list of companies that facilitate, enable, and profit from sexual abuse and exploitation. NCOSE has stated that highly inappropriate content is accessible to kids on Roblox even with parental controls turned on. This includes X-rated role-playing games created by users—the kind of content no parent expects their child to stumble across on a “kids” gaming platform.

And the headlines confirm it.

A 27-year-old Delaware man met an 11-year-old girl on Roblox and kidnapped her, transporting her 135 miles from her New Jersey home. A 13-year-old Utah boy was groomed for months on Roblox and Discord before being abducted and sexually assaulted. A 10-year-old Chicago girl was lured from her home in the middle of the night to meet a man she’d met on Roblox — and was assaulted by multiple men. A 15-year-old boy died by suicide following trauma from a predator he met on the platform. There are currently nearly 80 active lawsuits against Roblox tied to sexual predation, and attorneys general in multiple states are investigating.

One legal firm has called Roblox “a haven for adult sexual predators and pedophiles.” A recent report described it as “a pedophile hellscape for kids.“

It’s easy for people to pretend to be someone they’re not on Roblox. It is, by design, easy for bad actors to access your kids.

Roblox features over 40 million user-created games or “experiences.” Our kids’ brains were never meant to handle that much content—and there are no stopping cues, because the games virtually never end. Users love that you can “never run out of games.”

And, how does a company filter 40 million games for age-appropriateness? It’s nearly impossible—which means quality control goes down and the likelihood of your child encountering inappropriate content goes up.

And like many gaming platforms, Roblox uses persuasive design features to make games hard to walk away from. It’s free to play, but it makes money by selling digital upgrades. Players can purchase Roblox’s currency—Robux, to upgrade their avatar, unlock unique abilities, or add weapons and other items. Some of these options are only available for a limited time, creating urgency and pressuring kids to buy quickly. There’s even a marketplace where players can buy and sell collectibles. These are the same design mechanics used in gambling. Considering that online gambling is becoming a serious problem for young adults, this is often where it starts.

When kids are on Roblox, what are they not doing? Right now, some of the most popular games on the platform include Grow a Garden (a farming simulator where you tend virtual crops), Brookhaven RP (a life simulator where you pick a house and drive around a fake town), and Dress to Impress (a virtual fashion game). And yes—Touch Grass is a real Roblox game. A game. About touching grass! 

Our kids could be outside with actual dirt under their fingernails. They could be thrifting and putting together a real outfit with their friends. They could be planting something in a real garden and watching it actually grow.

Here are a few things that will help keep the experience as safe as possible:

• Download it yourself first and give it a real test run. We test drive cars extensively before we make a purchase—are we as careful with what our kids are accessing?
• Set up Roblox’s parental controls and maintain them regularly, knowing that they often fall short. That’s a given.
• Play with your kids. The best gaming experiences happen when a parent is in the room. You’ll see what they’re doing, and they’ll learn what you do and don’t approve of.
• Set clear limits on when and where it’s played—so real life still wins.

You’re in good company.

I know holding this boundary isn’t always easy. All the other kids seem to be playing the game and your kid is not. But friend, the risks almost always outweigh any benefits.

I’ve learned as a seasoned parent of five, that kids go through phases and society goes through fads—and in the digital age, that ‘something‘ is often a device, platform, or app your kid really, really wants. I’ve been there.

Kids grow out of a lot. What felt like a life-or-death request at age 10 becomes a distant memory by age 12. And the boundaries we hold early help us as the decisions get harder with age.

If they’re still begging for Roblox at 18? At that point they’ll have a more developed, mature brain—and they’ll get to decide if it’s worth their time, attention, and money.

In the meantime, you’ll have given them something Roblox never could: the gift of time to grow up. To find their real sense of style. To grow a real garden. To feel real grass under their feet and experience real life with real people in real time.

Roblox claims to be a place for connection and fun. But so is your backyard, your kitchen table, and every adventure waiting just outside your front door.

Let’s rethink the places where we let our kids play.