Group chats might seem harmless, but they’re usually one of the first places kids are exposed to bullying, explicit content, body shaming, and so much more.

Schools across the world are sending home letters just like this:

Many kids (without smartphones) are finding themselves knee-deep in digital drama and get exposed to explicit content because of access to group chats on family iPads or school devices.

Parents might assume that because their child is connecting with friends or peers, this is safe. But for middle schoolers and younger kids, group chats offer more harm than good.

Group messaging presents unique challenges that younger kids—and even middle schoolers—are NOT developmentally ready to handle.

1. The Pace Is Overwhelming
   • Messages pile up quickly, creating pressure to respond immediately and anxiety about missing out.
2. Social Dynamics Get Complicated
   • Messages pile up quickly, creating pressure to respond immediately and anxiety about missing out.
3. Things Escalate Quickly
   • What starts as innocent conversation can instantly change with just one message. Group mentality can override individual judgment.
4. Less Accountability
   • Kids say things in groups they’d never say one-on-one. Even if your child makes good choices, their name is attached to whatever the group says.

If your child is asking to message someone online, start with 1:1 messages on your device or a landline (ours can text (link)) with people they know in real life.

This allows your kids to practice appropriate online communication without group pressure and learn to handle uncomfortable situations with your help.

High school age is generally when teens have developed:

• Stronger social awareness
• Better impulse control
• Greater ability to recognize problematic situations

Even then, start small. A group with 3-4 close friends is very different from a large group chat.

Just because technology makes group messaging possible doesn’t mean kids are ready for it.

You’re not depriving them—you’re setting them up for healthier online connections when they’re truly ready.